Yahoo headline:
Bush Warns He'll Veto Runaway Government Spending
Like $100 Billion for the Iraq war?
Yah.....
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Ahhh, well. ...In Memoriam of Little Dog Curly
There are times when you are reading exactly the right book at exactly the right time.
The passages by Julia Sweeney from Parenting Beyond Belief have, unfortunately, come in handy recently, as we lost our little dog. I basically cribbed from her in explaining it all to the boy (3 1/2).
So, what I said to him was a re-phrase of what she said (about the death of Julia's dad)- that when we die it means we are not there any more- we can't eat, or play, or even think. We become part of the earth again if we're buried (which is what we did), or the sea or just ashes if we are cremated. Every day our body is a little bit less and a little bit less as it breaks down into its molecules and the molecules go into the ground and some become parts of other things. But that we still have our memories of Curly, and that we still do some things because of having known Curly, like we think of Scooby Snacks, or of dropping just a little food for her to find at dinner, or other things. That when he's being Waggy The Dog, it's because Curly showed him what a dog does.
So far he's at times intrigued, and at times sad, but asking a lot of questions, so we're just answering the questions, and being sad, too.
The question of "will she come back as something else" was answered with "we don't really know, but she will not be recognizable as Curly if she does, because then she'd be too involved being whatever it was, like a bunny (his suggestion). Unfortunately, we will not have our Curly any more, and we'll miss her. But we still have our love for her."
We have also been checking out other books on the subject- Judith Viorst's The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, which is about a cat dying and being buried, and which is one of the few non-heaven-based kids' books on the subject. There's even an argument between the child who has lost his cat and his neighbour friend about it in which the final word is "we don't know".
It is good to see someone say "we don't know" sometimes- especially when we just don't. So much better than the Certain Lie which is often offered.
I think it is this aspect of religion which bothers me perhaps the most- the denial of feelings (particularly sadness). "Don't be sad, s/he's with God now" is cruel even if one does believe- s/he's not with *me* now, so I have lost someone, and so I am sad. It also does not reflect well on God that It's needs or wants would always trump the human's. Greedy greedy God. This would be, I think, especially harmfull if one were trying to teach one's kids to "be like god". Yikes. As if we don't have enough trouble at bedtime.
In any event, our house is down one dog, and we are sad about it. Boy keeps asking if I am still sad even with No Tears Right Now. I say, "Yes, I probably will be for a while." He says he is, too. Inwardly, though, I also thank Ms Sweeney for the comforting, true, words.
The passages by Julia Sweeney from Parenting Beyond Belief have, unfortunately, come in handy recently, as we lost our little dog. I basically cribbed from her in explaining it all to the boy (3 1/2).
So, what I said to him was a re-phrase of what she said (about the death of Julia's dad)- that when we die it means we are not there any more- we can't eat, or play, or even think. We become part of the earth again if we're buried (which is what we did), or the sea or just ashes if we are cremated. Every day our body is a little bit less and a little bit less as it breaks down into its molecules and the molecules go into the ground and some become parts of other things. But that we still have our memories of Curly, and that we still do some things because of having known Curly, like we think of Scooby Snacks, or of dropping just a little food for her to find at dinner, or other things. That when he's being Waggy The Dog, it's because Curly showed him what a dog does.
So far he's at times intrigued, and at times sad, but asking a lot of questions, so we're just answering the questions, and being sad, too.
The question of "will she come back as something else" was answered with "we don't really know, but she will not be recognizable as Curly if she does, because then she'd be too involved being whatever it was, like a bunny (his suggestion). Unfortunately, we will not have our Curly any more, and we'll miss her. But we still have our love for her."
We have also been checking out other books on the subject- Judith Viorst's The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, which is about a cat dying and being buried, and which is one of the few non-heaven-based kids' books on the subject. There's even an argument between the child who has lost his cat and his neighbour friend about it in which the final word is "we don't know".
It is good to see someone say "we don't know" sometimes- especially when we just don't. So much better than the Certain Lie which is often offered.
I think it is this aspect of religion which bothers me perhaps the most- the denial of feelings (particularly sadness). "Don't be sad, s/he's with God now" is cruel even if one does believe- s/he's not with *me* now, so I have lost someone, and so I am sad. It also does not reflect well on God that It's needs or wants would always trump the human's. Greedy greedy God. This would be, I think, especially harmfull if one were trying to teach one's kids to "be like god". Yikes. As if we don't have enough trouble at bedtime.
In any event, our house is down one dog, and we are sad about it. Boy keeps asking if I am still sad even with No Tears Right Now. I say, "Yes, I probably will be for a while." He says he is, too. Inwardly, though, I also thank Ms Sweeney for the comforting, true, words.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
